A poem I wrote when everything around me was falling apart, and I felt so lost... Jesus spoke to me and gently reminded me that he was holding my safe. He showed me I could love safely, and completely without being scared of being hurt because He would protect me. He told me I had a calling that I must answer and the wounds that I had endured would be used for His glory...
My Call to love again
He heard my call, when I couldn't utter words.
He listened to my screams, when I couldn't find my voice.
His arms are my haven; my tears His diamonds.
His life is my redemption; I'm still in the finding.
His love I can't fathom, so difficult to describe,
the way He compels me, to want to stay alive.
He takes my pain on top of Himself,
His warmth surrounds me like the wings of a dove.
But sometimes, I’m left; feel like I’m all alone
My heart feels heavy and I’m cut deep to the bone.
I feel like friends have gone, and aren’t there for me,
And life isn’t worth it, cos’ I’ve forgotten that He’s Key.
I whimper to Him: “Where are You my Lord?”
He whispers, “I’m here, not far abroad.”
“But Jesus I can’t see you,” again I cry.
“I’m with you, beloved.” He says with a sigh.
“In fact” He murmurs, His voice so soft,
“I’m carrying you, don’t worry, you won’t be dropped.”
“My arms are strong, and have never let go,
for my love and grace will always be so.”
See, what He’s like this king of mine,
My protector, prince, and father divine?
He doesn’t care about my past, my failures and mistakes,
All He cares about is devotion, and healing my heartaches.
The pain and wounds are easy for Him,
to stitch up and clean out from deep within.
I marvel at His forgiveness, and His sweet caring disposition,
When I myself often lose it and let go of the valuable mission.
If I was Him I would’ve given up, for being stubborn is my strength,
But tenderly He led me, to fall down on my knees and repent.
He saw and knew all about the pain and problems anyway,
But He waited for me to tell Him as I learned how to pray.
Through the pain that I’ve walked He was standing there too,
Wanting to take it all away but in His heart of hearts He knew.
That down my journey I’d find someone in a pool of regret and tears,
And I’d know that this was why I’d had heartaches for all these years.
That person would need to know about this hope I've found,
and I could help them see that Jesus could hold them fast to the ground.
Even when they'd lost their way, He'd still be beckoning them to His side,
waiting for that faultless moment when they'll turn to him and cry.
He’s showing me more with every day that I’m a vessel for Him,
To help others out of the confusion satan’s got them trapped in.
I’m a piece of secondary clay with stones and cracks and shame,
Yet He can still use me, to take away others deep searing pain.
My life’s a single clay shard; it’s too broken to be much else,
But He’s working on me slowly creating me to be myself.
And through all the sorrow, heartache, tears and brutal pain…
…He's showing me how to really love and be loved again.
Copyright Ajae Frazer, 2o.o5.2oo9 ©
Yours forever, Ajae ♥
